One of the biggest parenting myths is that if you show empathy, you’re giving in. But here’s the truth: empathy is not agreeing. You can make room to understand why your child is upset without changing your decision. When your kid yells, “You’re the worst!” because you won’t buy them candy, you don’t have to argue or give in. You can calmly say, “You’re really feeling upset about this. I get it.” That’s empathy. You’re not agreeing with the behavior—you’re just showing them you see how they feel.

This shift is huge. It means you can stay connected even during meltdowns, backtalk, or teen eye rolls. Instead of trying to fix the emotion or shut it down, you just hold space for it. And at the same time, you still hold your boundary. “I know you're feeling angry, and we're still leaving the park.” This type of balance, being kind but firm maintains structure, is value driven, and builds trust over time.

Most of us weren’t raised like this. We were told to “stop crying” or “be grateful”, so sitting with a child’s big feelings can be uncomfortable. When we stop viewing feelings as something to control and start seeing them as something to connect through, everything softens. You don’t have to agree with your child to show up for them. You just have to stay present and remind them that even when it’s hard, you’re still on their side.